Prophetic Parenting: Strategies for Raising Children in Modern Times

Recently, I attended a talk about ‘Raising Children and Instilling Faith in Their Hearts in Modern Times’ By Ustazah Eiman Sidky, at MUIS Auditorium.

BE A ROLE MODEL. Allah created the prophets to guide and teach mankind. Therefore if we play the role of teachers to our children, we are doing what the prophets are doing. MasyaAllah!

HAVE GOOD INTENTION. Always make the intentions for your children to be better than you. Rasulullah s.a.w. always make doa for Fatimah r.a, made lots of doa for her and showered her love and that's why she turned out to be the best women in Islam and first to enter Jannah.

SHOWER LOVE AND MERCY. If a mother showers love and mercy to her children by kissing and hugging etc, Allah will shower mercy onto her, because Allah said He is the most merciful.

BE SINCERE. When we make doa to Allah, always invoke Allah's name. Also, some scholars said that Allah will give for those who make doa with a sincere heart and whose heart is present.

MAKE DOA. Nabi Daud made doa to Allah: Be for my son how you are to me. And Allah said teach your son to be like how you are to me and I will be to like your son how I am to you.” Nabi Daud was generous, pious, etc. Hence we need to explicitly teach all these values to our children. Also make doa for our children in front of them so that they hear your doa for them.

BE RESPONSIBLE. On the Day of Judgement, Allah will ask you about your children first. Before Allah ask your children about you.

BE PATIENT. Imam Ghazali in Ayyuhal Walad said: Raising children is like farming. It's hard work. Having to clear the rubbish from the farm, give it fertilizer, and plant the seed, water, and wait for it to fruit. Under the hot sun. Must use hoe and all. So raising children requires the same hard work. And you will bear the fruits as how much effort you have put into it. The more you give, the more you will get. You have to be patient while waiting for the fruits to bear.

BE A GOOD COUNSELLOR. The first step to raising good children is choosing a good spouse. Saidatina Fatimah r.a cried when the women of madina teased her and said: Your father married you to the poorest man in madina?. But Rasulullah s.a.w. consoled her and explained to her about the merits of Saidina Ali r.a. This shows one way Rasulullah s.a.w. tarbiyyah his children, by slowly talking and explaining.

REWARD YOUR CHILDREN. One way to encourage children to do good deeds is to reward them. For example, if you do your prayers with sunnah and dhuha etc, Ummi will give you a gift.” Some parents said why we should reward children when it's compulsory. Indeed Allah rewards our deeds with Jannah and we adults need rewards too. So what more do children!

TENDER, LOVE AND CARE FOR OUR HUSBAND. We should not ignore our husbands when we take care of children. It's a common mistake of women.

BE BALANCED. Saidatina Khadijah r.a managed to take care of 6 children and she gave birth after the age of 40. She also managed to take care of Rasulullah s.a.w. needs such as climbing the cave of Hira' to send him food.

TAKE CARE OF OUR HOUSEHOLD. Asma' Binti Yazid complained to rasulullah s.a.w. that women can't jihad and go to battles like the men. But Rasulullah s.a.w. said that if a women takes care of herself for their husband and the household is considered a form of jihad.

PLEASE OUR HUSBAND. A wife must take care of herself for the husband. Must seek pleasure from him. Likes whatever he likes. And have good akhlaq.

BE GENTLE. Rasulullah s.a.w. will never beat children. At most the women are allowed to beat with the siwak about 3 times gently. Maximum 10 times.

PRACTICE USAGE OF ÏNSYAALLAH”. When we pray for our children. Always add the word insyaAllah’’. There was a sahaba who made a prayer for 99 children. But he only got 1 child and someone said that had he said ‘insyaAllah. Then he would have gotten 99 pious children.

BE A GOOD MOTHER. Characteristics of good mothers;
Be kind
Be gentle
Choose the easy way. Never always say no to the children.
Be flexible
Don't be angry
Always take the middle path. Don’t be extreme (not too relaxed and not too firm)
Be good examples to your children

TEACH ABOUT OUR DEEN. The first thing we need to teach our children is “Laa ilaha illallah Muhammadur rasulullah”. Make known to them of Allah and Rasulullah s.a.w. Talk to them about the traits of the prophets.

BE RELAXED. Teach children during relaxing times. Rasulullah s.a.w. used to talk to Ibn Abbas during walks. Other good times to teach is when they are sick.

[Credits to the original author ánonymous'. Edited by Fatimah Surani]